Why Breathwork is truly transformational

My Breathwork Story

At the end of 2020, I was depressed and numbing my pain with food, a little too much wine, and binging all the TV. I had hit my breaking point after witnessing the suffering of people all over the globe … the indifference to so many lives being lost every day to Covid-19 … the arrogance of our nation’s leaders … the black and brown bodies disproportionately impacted by the pandemic … black bodies slain simply because they existed.

 

I just couldn’t take it anymore. 

I was living through a pandemic and it wasn’t going very well. My soul and my spirit were broken.

I stopped doing everything I love. I stopped running, the one thing I have done for twenty years as a means to connect with myself. When I saw them kill Ahmed Arbury, just for running, I just couldn’t lace up my shoes anymore. It impacted me deep in my soul. I was scared.

When they took Breonna’s life in her own damn home. I couldn’t help feeling overcome with fear.

When I saw them take the breath from George as he screamed out for his mama, something in my soul quaked.

To be honest, it got a little scary for a minute. I told my husband that I wanted to go away, somewhere where I could just sleep and not have to function in this world. Maybe a mental hospital could take me. I was feeling pretty bad.

I already live with an anxiety disorder, having had OCD since early childhood. I am super high-functioning, so it hasn’t slowed me down or been something you could see even if you looked closely — but it’s definitely there, mostly manifested in an obsession with death.

I have always been uncomfortable with the death, dying, and suffering of any human, and OCD sort of blows that up to an overwhelming magnitude. To make matters worse, in January 2020, I lost one of my best friends. She just died. No reason. No explanation. She lived in Beijing at the time as a teacher, and as a result, I couldn’t be there when she was laid to rest.

So imagine my mental state by the end of the year. I was really struggling.

I don't remember exactly how I found breathwork. I work in the wellness industry, so I had obviously heard about it and one day I just felt compelled to Google it. Everything I read blew my mind. There is scientific research that actually supports breathwork’s ability to boost immunity, help you process emotions and heal from pain and trauma, lower blood pressure, and reduce the symptoms associated with stress, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and post-traumatic stress disorder.

Count me in! I was desperate.

I also happen to be one of those people who finds themselves randomly taking a huge gulp of air because their usual breathing is just so shallow. Chalk that up to anxiety.

I signed up for a breathwork class, and the first one was just okay. I thought I could do a short class and get all the benefits in one session. {I was also multi-tasking at the time.} I had no idea that I needed to prepare myself for this session, so predictably I thought it was meh.

Then I signed up for a second session with my own personal teacher trainer. That’s right, I decided to become a teacher after one meh session {being present helped- no multi-tasking}. I know it sounds weird but I felt led to this. 

That session completely blew me away. I cried a year’s worth of tears. I cannot explain the full experience other than to say it felt like a decade of therapy and emotional release in one hour-long session. 

I felt so much power. I felt life come back to my body. I really needed this. Of course, I needed this!

Breath is life, after all. Our life is bookended by breath — the first and the last — and every breath in between holds infinite possibilities.

Breathwork is now a huge part of my trauma healing. It has truly changed my life. I am watching it change my husband and kids too — we are all big into breathing now.

These days, I breathe and I breathe deep.

I am also running again. I never thought I would, but I am because I am doing it for them. I am running for Ahmed. I am breathing for George. I am living in spite of my fear for Breonna.

Because they can no longer, I will, and I will take every one I can along with me on this healing journey.

Won’t you join me?

Join me for breathwork sessions.